There's no question that auteur Aiden Dillard is our town's equivalent of Roger Corman. Unfortunately, Miami doesn't have a Nicholson and a Hopper to help make his movies truly "B" -- or do we? If Dillard's Deathprint is any indication, we damn do indeed. Or at least we're damned anyway. Show up at O Cinema this Saturday night to find out how and why.
What the bloody hell is Deathprint? Deathprint is a tongue in cheek homage to the 1980s era Death Wish vigilante movie series starring Charles Bronson, but set in Miami with a cast of weirdos. It is a classic revenge tale: an old man's daughter is murdered by a pseudo Communist artist named Arthur Basel, so he seeks out revenge by taking on all of Miami's villainous culturati.
How many hipsters were harmed in the making of the movie? Not enough. I tried as hard as I could to kill Notorious Nastie by dropping a car on him. I also tried to use real bullets instead of blanks to kill Jose el Rey, Peasants With Feathers, the TM Sisters, Clifton Childree, Jillian Mayer, Cuci Amador, and Otto Von Schirach. RubberDoll tried to kill me, but I'm too hip to die. Not!
Will their near corpses be on display this Saturday night? Yes, we're having our Deathprint movie funeral at O Cinema right after the Wynwood Artwalk at midnight in order to channel all of the hipster energy of that neighborhood into a vortex. We fully expect at least one possession. Fear not though because I am the last exorcist.
What else is in store for the O Cinema throwdown? I am selling Deathprint DVDs for only $5 and t-shirts for $12. I recently quit my job in order to steal the rights to Deathprint back from my bosses, so I have been hanging out at the blood and sperm banks lately to make ends meet. Please buy my stuff or I really might die. I suggest bringing your own turkey baster.
Do you recommend fans come armed? I don't know about fans, but I do recommend that people come. If you're too scared of the slapfest that might break out though, then you can always buy the DVD off of the movie's official website www.watchdeathprint.com, or check out my baloney distribution company Meatweed Media website selling my other movies like Meat Weed Madness and Meat Weed America, or on Amazon and eBay. If you pirate my movies then I will hunt you down and poop on your doorstep. Miami is a big city, but not that big.
Why did it take so long for DP to DVD anyway? Apparently this movie was the greatest financial disaster in the history of cinema, even worse than Waterworld. I spent a year and a half shopping it around to Hollywood distributors, and nobody wanted it except my old pals at Troma, but their terms of exclusive world rights for no money down did not fly with my bosses. In the old days when I self-financed movies with house painting wages I could just give my movies away for free. Apparently though when you use other people's money to make movies, those people aren't happy that the movie might actually be seen if they don't get their cut. I finally decided to take the matter into my own hands, and begged for permission to self-release it. I know that it's pathetic, but like I said, I'm unemployed and going broke, so buy my stuff at www.meatweed.com. Believe it or not the movie is actually even more popular in Europe then it is in Miami. I am a celebrity in Europe. Really.
Rumor has it you've got another epic already locked and loaded, wanna tell us a bit about it? After finishing Deathprint, I made another movie called Hell Glades, a horror movie about some Miami Beach bunnies, like the fabulous Nicole Soden, who disappear in the Everglades. It's a lot of fun and almost has nudity. Fail. Apparently the wild man John Hood has a role as the Narrator of the film, which he totally killed by reciting pages and pages of my narrative drivel while wearing a 3-piece suit in the 100+ degree heat. That guy is really a swell cat. Top of the line.
When might we expect to see that splattering at our favorite local screenery? Hell Glades has been done and collecting dust for about six months. I am trying to learn the ropes of self-distribution of movies with Deathprint before I tackle the release of Hell Glades. Suffice it to say, the Weinsteins are safe for now. Ideally some Hollywood distributor would pick this movie up, but I am getting so jaded and angry that I haven't even sent it out to festivals yet. None of the actresses will return my phone calls anymore. I'm at rope's end. Actually the truth is the other way around, and all you biznitches trying to get the movie on IMDB needz to leave me alone if you ever want to work in this town again. The movie will be out when I'm good and ready for it to be.
Any other cinematic badness you wanna tip us to? I am retiring. I am 30 years old going on 65 and I feel like I'm wasting my life making stupid movies that nobody wants to see. Who wants to sit in a theater and watch their stupid friends tell bad jokes for 90 minutes? Bad movies are a dying art. I recently started a little web series called Nastie News with my old pal Arthur Basel. I also have been videotaping myself pooping Valentine's Day presents to my girlfriend Kassandra for noise show performances with my band Ballscarf, with my partners in crime Jay Hines and Nick Ruiz. I'm also getting into real estate. I need to make some money so that I can make a real freakfest. If you don't have internet then you can also buy my crap at Sweat Records, but if you are reading this then click this.
Deathprint Blowout at O Cinema Saturday February 11 Midnight. For more info go right here.