Today's TWoP News: October 27, 2009

By MINDY MONEZ

Updated 5:15 PM EDT, Tue, Oct 27, 2009

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No Hugh Jackman at the Oscars? What are we supposed to do? Our own over-the-top Precious dance parodies?

Sadly, the prevailing rumor is that Hugh Jackman has turned down an offer to return as next year's Oscar host. So instead they're looking for two hosts, with opposite generational appeal, like Steve Martin and Tina Fey. That particular duo would be weird for many reasons, and while having multiple hosts usually also ends up being awkward (Hi, 2008 Emmys!), I say why not try it, if the casting's right. Like Zac Efron and... I dunno, Wilford Brimley or somebody.

Simon Cowell told Gordon Ramsay to get plastic surgery to repair his crease-y face, and he actually did it. And though he doesn't look all that different post-surgery, Gordon Ramsay should know that only donkeys and donuts let Simon Cowell boss their faces around.

Cougartown is going to Friends it up even more in an upcoming episode, in which Lisa Kudrow will guest as Courteney Cox's mean dermatologist. You know who else that show needs from that other show? Selleck!

While watching last week's Yankee games, I noticed a horribly distasteful DirecTV commercial running a lot, in which current David Spade is edited into Tommy Boy's "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" scene to tell the singing (and dead) Chris Farley about the merits of satellite television. And while I'm sure you found it to be in poor taste as well, the good news is we were all apparently wrong. It's really a beautiful and appropriate tribute to a beloved fallen star. David Spade's publicist told a misogynistic website so. That is such a relief!

Oh, and speaking of awful things in poor taste, after Microsoft finally actually watched an episode of The Family Guy, they pulled their sponsorship. If only they'd asked us months ago and saved everybody the trouble.

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