Excellent: New Yorkers Enlist Monty Burns for Mayor

Campaign hopes to topple front-runner billionaire mayor Michael Bloomberg

By MICHAEL CLANCY

Updated 4:39 PM EDT, Tue, Sep 22, 2009

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burnsformayor.com

Monty Burns for Mayor has quite the ring to it.

While Monty vs. Diamond Joe Quimby has the makings of a great "Simpsons" episode, Monty Burns for Mayor of New York City is a pretty elaborate, amusing and spot-on parody.

But the tricksters behind the effort and the campaign site burnsformayor.com -- "The Concerned New Yorkers for Monty Burns Coalition" -- insist it’s not a joke.

"The real cartoon character is Michael Bloomberg who thinks he can just change the rules around, and run for a third time," said Boris Rasin, who is running the "campaign" with the web site's designer Kenny Komer. “We want all New Yorkers -- eligible or not -- to vote for Monty Burns. We want all New Yorkers to vote at least once for his candidacy.”

A screenshot from the campaign site.

The site almost seems like it could be a stealth attack ad from challenger Bill Thompson's campaign, a la the anti-Hillary Clinton "1984" campaign created by a rogue Obama supporter.

The overall ethos of the site -- that oligarchs have the answers to the city's problems -- lampoons our billionaire mayor when not taking direct shots at him.

The site takes dead aim at Bloomberg with slogans such as “No third terms, Vote for Burns" and “You too can be part of this grass roots movement. Help Monty's Millions Beat Bloomy's Billions!”

But the spokesman for the campaign said Thompson is a target too.

“Bill Thompson and Michael Bloomberg have formed a consortium to keep the future Mayor Burns off the ballot,” Rasin said. “We recognize Bill Thompson as our No. 2 enemy. Our no. 2 used to be the Naked Cowboy but he realized there was no chance for his campaign to go up against Monty Burns.”

The Burns campaign is being run in conjunction with the The Concerned New Yorkers for Monty Burns Coalition and the Art in Odd Place 2009 festival.

The Burns platform -- elucidated in a series of videos on a dedicated YouTube channel -- includes selling Staten Island to New Jersey to close the deficit, bringing nuclear power to Williamsburg and the elimination of hipsters through a "final solution."

Burns will "usher in a new era of sincerity and stylistic accountability," a narrator ominously intones in the campaign video. "Containment is no longer an option. Zero tolerance is the only answer. Together we will form a final solution."

Another interesting plank in the Burns platform is the creation of safe havens for tourists.

“We plan on creating special New Yorker-free tourist zones where tourists can interact with other tourists and won’t have to interact with New Yorkers who may hurt them,” Rasin said. “This way they can enjoy the 'Phantom of the Opera' and S’barro’s discounts in peace.”