Mitt Romney's secretly-taped remarks to private donors released this week got the "Saturday Night Live" treatment two nights ahead of schedule on "Weekend Update Thursday."
The episode ripped into the presidential nominee in a series of spoofed secret tapes that had Romney, played by Jason Sudeikis, spitting food into a diner's face, singing a song about poor people's distaste for working, and specifying that the 47 percent of the electorate he dismissed were neither veterans nor the elderly, but "black people."
The clips were shown in a faux "Fox and Friends" segment dedicated to defending the very real Romney tape, in which the nominee characterized 47 percent of voters as people who "believe that they are victims" and are dependent on the government.
The Fox hosts, played by Taran Killam, Vanessa Bayer and Bobby Moynihan, watched a parody of the Romney tape, in which Romney scans the room for cameras before telling donors that the 47 percent of people he was really talking about were black people.
"I mean, what's the big deal?" the hosts protested.
The Fox crew then revealed a series of new "secret videos" beginning with a video of Romney chatting with voters at a McDonald's.
"People think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these sandwiches at the McDonald's," Sudeikis' Romney said, before spitting a mouthful of his sandwich into a fellow patron's face.
"I'd complain to the chef, but let me guess. No habla ingles," he added.
The next clip had Romney asking a driver to take him and his wife to the Four Seasons only to find out that he was actually on "Cash Cab" and the driver was offering up a $25 prize if he managed to answer a few questions correctly.
"That's okay, we're not going to answer questions for a quarter," Romney said.
The driver repeated that he was offering $25.
"Right, which is a quarter of a hundred dollars," Romney said. "What other kind of quarter is there?"
Next up was a tape that caught Romney happily singing in the shower: "Oh poor people hate having jobs, the only thing the poor hate more than condoms is waking up and going to a job."
"That's a catchy song," Moynihan's character said.
The segment closed with an announcement of "one or two corrections from the first two hours of the show," before a cascade of them—noted in their entirety by EW.com—moved down the screen.
The actual "Weekend Update," overshadowed by its intro, offered up some mild laughs on the news of the week, from Newsweek's "Muslim Rage" cover (stolen, Seth Meyers said, from Cat Fancy's "Feline Rage" cover), to Jay Z's fundraiser for President Obama (not a good sign considering Jay Z supports "a failing team" -- The Nets).
Drunk Uncle and Democratic consultant James Carville, played by Bill Haden, stopped by for a visit too, with Haden squeezing in one final jab at Romney.
Asked how he would advise the GOP nominee, the fake Carville said he would tell the candidate to "Just act rich ... Wear a top hat and a cape," he said, clasping his hands together and cackling wildly.