This pretty much sums up Ernest Wilford's career with the Fins, except for the invisible pile of money he's falling onto.
Wilford, playing tight end after failing at wide receiver, was terminated Monday morning. Well, he wasn't; we've just always wanted to write that. His contract was terminated. Agent to the stars and fired people, Drew Rosenhaus, made the scoop on Twitter and said that he expected Wilford to be signed by another team soon.
Well, maybe not so fast there, slick stuff: the fact that the Dolphins actually penalized themselves $1.5 million dollars to get rid of Wilford, rather than keep him, means they might have tried to trade him already and failed and that's why you make the big bucks, buddy, so good luck with that and your drivel-spewing PR feed. (Oh, was that out loud? Sorry.)
What the fancy math means is that the Dolphins have just paid Ernest Wilford OVER TWO MILLION DOLLARS PER CATCH (or $240,000 per yard, pick your poison) for the the 2008 season. And now he will put those stacks of money in his pipe and smoke them. Or buy a boat, or put it in a retirement fund, or whatever he wants, really. All the franchise needs is one or two more celebrity one-percenters and that's covered, though, so while it's a staggering waste on one hand, it's just a tiny Marc Anthony in the other.
The most notable of the remaining moves was the waiver of Chris Williams, who excited fans while averaging over 30 yards per return during the first pre-season game a week ago. Unfortunately, he followed that up by somehow breaking his hand while fielding a punt with his face on Saturday. Williams was ridden out of town on the injury waiver (not because he muffed a punt, according to his mother) and will get some sort of financial nod for departing in a cast.
The Dolphins also waived running back Anthony Kimble, nose tackle Joe Cohen, and linebackers Orion Martin and Tearrius George.
Backup big uglies Ikechuku Ndukwe and Andy Alleman have been sent to Kansas City where, we hope for our own imaginary amusement, Parcells' son-in-law Scott Pioli receives them with the great indifference that becomes gifts from one's in-laws. Ndukwe started 15 games last season after Donald Thomas was injured, but was expected to provide nothing but depth for the coming season. The Fins are getting an undisclosed 2010 draft pick in return.
At any rate, all eight were long shots. And now the triumvirate is down to 70, with 17 more to lop off before September 5. Timber!