You won't see Gabrielle Union court-side at the American Airlines Arena anytime soon. Dwyane Wade's girlfriend explained why to Conan O'Brien Thursday (video below).

Union is not afraid to, we'll say, express disappointment at a game, and she doesn't spare Wade's feelings when he's not performing up to expectations. "Who's gonna tell him if not me?" she told O'Brien.

But besides trash-talking Wade, Union will go after referees and opposing players. "Well, there was a gentleman who shall remain nameless who was a little overweight," she said to O''Brien "and I did yell out his name [and said], 'Your Spanx are showing!'"

Not bad, she get's the guy's weight and masculinity into one quip. Her Verbal Efficiency Rating (VER, for the sabrmetric types) is obviously high.

She does not mess around. "You'll get your Viagra if you just make a call!" she yelled to a referee who wasn't calling many fouls.

We can see why Wade might want the distraction on game days (though we would love to have been a fly on the wall when he told her to hike up to the luxury boxes).

But Union remains the second most combative celebrity Heat fan. If Jimmy Buffet can get ejected from a playoff game, Union could at least get in a shouting match with Joakim Noah. 

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