South Park Slaughters the Dolphins

South Park creators must be Jets fans

By TODD WRIGHT

Updated 2:53 PM EST, Thu, Oct 29, 2009

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When it rains, it pours - cartoonish, gratuitous blood.

The super sensitive creators of South Park decided it would be a good idea to kick the Miami Dolphins and fans while they were still down from a heart wrenching loss to the New Orleans Saints by literally killing everyone on the roster.

While we could think of a few players we'd like eliminated from the roster, we can't say we expect Samurai sword-carrying Japanese men to descend on Land Shark Stadium and go on a murdering spree.

But that's what happened on Wednesday night's episode of South Park.

The swordsmen apparently had a vendetta against all dolphins, marine mammal and football team alike. The Dolphins were playing, of all teams, the Kansas City Chiefs when the spear and sword carrying men rushed the field. As far as we can tell, the assailants had their way with Ricky Williams (or No. 34) and really gave it to Joey Porter (a chubby No. 55).

No No. 19 or No. 28 in sight, however.

Note to South Park producers, if you are going to kill the Dolphins, don't do it in a game we would actually be favored to win.

Somehow, the blood bath started because Stan got to swim with the dolphins for a birthday gift, a la Miami Seaquarium signature tot treat.

Clearly, someone on South Park's staff has spent significant time in Miami. But if they really wanted to pay homage to their visit to the Magic City, they would have given the business to cartoon Ted Ginn Jr. or Gibril Wilson.