Where do you want to go to school, Billy?
The one named after an ex-Miami Heat player and all-around shining star in the community? Or the lady who sent a little boy back to live in Communism and was easily played by Will Farrell on Saturday Night Live?
By the end of the week, a new North Miami high school will know its naming fate.
In one corner, Alonzo and Tracy Mourning. In the other, former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno. Sounds more like a handicap match, but you get the point.
Last week the school's naming committee of five members voted on the name - the Mournings received four votes to Reno's one (apparently the school's current name, State School QQQ-1, doesn't have a nice enough ring to it). The results came as a surprise to Kevin Burns, the lone Reno fan.
''The entire City Council was behind the name Janet Reno,'' Burns told the Miami Herald.
''I think together the Mournings have done so much for our children,'' said School Board member Martin Karp, who made the suggestion that the new school be named - take a deep breath -- Alonzo and Tracy Mourning Senior High School Biscayne Bay Campus.
He went on to say that he had received a number of complaints about the possible choice of Reno because she was too controversial (little boy... raft... momless... big guns...some guy named Fidel...adios, democracy...etc).
The final vote is scheduled to come Wednesday, but North Miami City Council is making one last-ditch effort, passing a resolution that urges the School Board to go with Reno (or a natural feature characteristic of the area).
''I just don't think schools should be named after anyone who is still living,'' said North Miami parent Geoff Harris, who prefers "natural feature" over ATMSHSBBC (can we buy a vowel?).
''I am not wishing anything bad on them, but in today's day and age, how do we know they will still be a couple in 10 years,'' he said.
Though Alexa Yero, who will attend the school, thought the Mourning name was ''way too long" and preferred something like Bay View High School (snore), she did see an upside.
''Maybe he could come out and work with the school's sports teams."
If they haven't cut their PE program, of course.
