It's not that we're about to make fun of our neighbors up in West Palm Beach.
[Note: we are totally about to make fun of our neighbors up in West Palm Beach.]
It's just that we've never seen a composite sketch quite like the one created to help solve the mystery of a "crazy bird" who's been terrorizing residents in downtown WPB. The feathered fellow is being so brazen as to interrupt daily dog walks (quelle horreur!) and "leaving a trail of fear -- and something else."
Oh, so just a regular bird, then?
No. A bird that was apparently created by a five-year-old and pregnant with multiples, at least if the suspect sketch is any indication:
Yep. That's a composite sketch of a bird. And it looks like a bird. But crazy bird's image is traveling fast among concerned residents who are now avoiding the intersection of Chase Street and Trinity Place, where terror swoops from the skies.
"I literally thought it was the end. I was like, 'Aahhhh!'" said victim Jeanine Magaro, who is one of "dozens" who've been forced to run from the crazy bird as it flew around her. "It stays with me. I still see his shadow."
"Well, I was feeling attacked," fellow bird trauma sufferer Ellen Levy recalls. "Totally attacked. It really is a rather unnerving experience, I could feel the bird whooshing against my face..."
"It was not something that I expected in West Palm Beach. Let's put it that way."
While we try to figure out why it is West Palm Beach oughtn't to have nature in it, we'll leave you with the police sketch as a warning that you, too, may be in danger: of living in a place where news is this slow.