The top name for little Sunshine State boys, for the second year in a row, is "Jayden." Not that we have anything against the name, which is lovely in a tonal sing-song, but it pretty much means we're naming our children after the offspring of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. After "Chaotic" aired.
(Or after porn stars, as New Times points out, but we're pretending that never happens.)
Oh, sure, you'll claim in defense of your US Weekly-loving selves, Jayden James Federline is hardly the first Jayden; Will Smith and Jada Pinkett used it back in 1998.
But the Fresh Prince couldn't get the name to chart like locking it in the bathroom with a mentally unstable pop star did, nor could the grandson of one of Gary, Indiana's mayors or noted Australian rock climber Jayden Irving.
Nope, Jayden didn't hit the top 25 until Britney gave birth in 2006 -- and it climbed to number six before taking over the top spot in 2008.
Let that shame sink in like Desitin, neighbors. (And do not, under any circumstances, start naming your children "Kei$ha.")
Top baby names in Florida for boys, 2009: