They must have been playing the Benny Hill theme song while divvying up divisions. Or maybe it's some sort of elaborate prank, a slice of absurdist performance art from the decidedly uncreative Atlantic Coast Conference.
Either way, nothing demonstrates exactly how lopsided the balance of talent is in the ACC than this: media voters checked off ballots today that put Florida State in the conference title game, and Miami second to Virginia Tech in the Coastal division.
While certainly even this souped-up, rebuilt Miami squad could fall to old foil Virginia Tech -- though we doubt it happens at home this season -- the unsettling part is this: were Florida State in the Coastal along with Miami, Virginia Tech, North Carolina, and Georgia Tech, they'd probably be picked fifth at best.
But instead, the Seminoles can be -- and are -- repeatedly given the nod for the Atlantic division, because there's no one else there. Clemson, Maryland, Boston College, NC State? In a blip year, sure, and with a C.J. Spiller on board.
But we're sensing a pattern, and it has nothing to do with what Florida State is actually putting on the football field:
Florida State Pre-Season Concensus (Actual Atlantic Champions)
2005: 1st ACC Atlantic (Florida State)
2006: 1st ACC Atlantic (Wake Forest)
2007: 1st ACC Atlantic (Boston College)
2008: 3rd ACC Atlantic (Boston College)
2009: 1st ACC Atlantic (Clemson)
2010: 1st ACC Atlantic (TBD)
Yep. The fifth-best team in the ACC, but always picked tops in the Atlantic on some sort of weird default principle which linebacker Nigel Carr has attempted to steal at least three times.
But that's okay. The Hurricanes haven't proven anything more than Florida State has of yet, and they play best as underdogs. Which is nice, because they have also put our Afro Butterfly and his new titanium thumb in a corner, and you only overlook a healthy Jacory Harris at your own peril.