Canadians Rename Dolphin Stadium

We'll waste away in anything, but we like it best when not named "Land Shark."

View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    Getty Images
    MIAMI - DECEMBER 7: An aerial view shows Dolphin Stadium in Miami, Florida on December 7, 2006. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

    Dolphins and Dolphins fans alike have a hot and lively new name for what they call home: Sun Life Stadium.

    SportsBusiness Daily is reporting a five-year deal paying the Dolphins a handy $7.5 million annually has been reached for Dolphin Stadium (née Joe Robbie Stadium née Pro Player Park née Pro Player née Dolphins née Land Shark).

    The team has invited season ticket holders to a Stephen Ross Major Announcement on Wednesday.

    But down to what really matters (the judging; it's what we do best): after enduring a season named for the tequila of beers, suffering through parrotheads and jingles and Black Eyes Peas alike, being named for a Canadian financial services outfit selling insurance and retirement services is a near-miracle of respectability.

    While Mike Dee blatantly ignored our own two-word suggestions -- Stab Happy, Cooked Whites, Donut Round, and Where's Marino -- Sun Life is as appropriate as it gets.

    Consider staid corporate shills like U.S. Cellular, Jobing.com Arena, Qualcomm Stadium, and Energy Solutions Arena -- not to mention horrifying monikers like Dick's Sporting Goods Park and Pizza Hut Park -- and shudder. Remember Land Shark, and praise Shula we don't have four more years of that.

    And boy, do we have some old people for Sun Life to target. It's as perfect a fit as it is unavoidable -- assuming, that is, the money helps the Fins buy a defense.

    ProFootballTalk says the new monikor will debut with the Pro Bowl and Super Bowl, a bonus that's got to have those Canadians as hyped as Canadians can possibly get aboot it.

    Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.