Dirty? Joey Porter is Terribly Misunderstood
Hey! Our lil' Peezy just talks a lot!
By JANIE CAMPBELL
Updated 12:30 PM EST, Wed, Nov 4, 2009
Pity the poor Peezy, so misunderstood.
In a poll of NFL players conducted by Sports Illustrated that hits newstands tomorrow, the Dolphins' very own Joey Porter turned up in second place for "Dirtiest Player." He wasn't alone -- he tied with Redskins d-tackle and head stomper Albert Haynesworth, a scoundrel if there ever was one, and both trailed Steelers receiver Hines "Blind Side" Ward.
Porter and Haynesworth received 6% each of 296 votes, which means that practically everyone in the league is dirty and Brandon Spikes is still in college.
(Retiree Rodney Harrison received three votes, which goes either to show those knocks on the head are pretty severe, or Harrison was just that legendary.)
But here's the thing: Peezy's not dirty dirty, that's just his mouth. Can we see some paperwork? Did SI use the scientific method? Did anyone define the terms?
Oh, sure, Peez'll insult your mother -- once, twice, three times for the lady -- and, if you're wearing stripes, threaten to "come after you" without so much as blinking. To be fair, his love of the half-shirt is certainly offensive, and he'll start a shoving match during warm-ups just for funsies. He'll run his mouth like it's a minimum wage cleaning lady, brawl in Vegas, and get shot in the ass in Pennsylvania.
But dirty on the field? C'mon. As Porter said upon his 2nd place finish in 2006, that's just "an image pick."
With just 12 tackles and 2 1/2 sacks on the year, he's clearly not dirty enough.
Janie Campbell knows Joey Porter would like being named "dirty," even if he isn't. And likes it. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.
Copyright NBC Local Media
First Published: Nov 4, 2009 12:13 PM EST
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