The Miami Dolphins cannot escape the scorn of its own fan base any longer. Having already flown an airplane banner calling for the ouster of general manager Jeff Ireland and erected a billboard imploring the team to acquire QB Peyton Manning, the fanbase has embraced the last resort of protest: Wikipedia.
In the wake of the Dolphins' failure to convince either Manning or Matt Flynn to be the team's next quarterback, Ireland's Wikipedia entry was edited Monday morning by an unknown Dolfan Monday morning. His job title was changed from "General Manager" to "Chairman, Department of Terrible Decisions." The first sentence of the entry read: "Jeff Ireland (born in a Denny's parking lot in Abilene, Texas) is the most incompetent human being in the history of existence."
The entry becomes even less charitable afterward. "He has previously served as an executive for the Dallas Cowboys," it continues, "a team he dearly loves, proving so by signing every player the Cowboys cut to the Miami Dolphins."
That sound you hear is the mass of South Florida's Marc Colombo critics vigorously shaking their heads in disapproval.
As per usual when someone takes excessive liberties with a Wikipedia entry, the changes were noticed quickly, and the entry was soon reverted to the previous version by one of the site's army of crowd-sourcing editors.
However, the hacked Ireland entry lives on thanks to twoscreenshots. The section detailing Ireland's tenure with the Dolphins sums it up nicely with a choice quote from the cult TV series Arrested Development: "The Dolphins were able to hire Ireland away from the Cowboys because he did not have final say in Dallas. To paraphrase G.O.B. Bluth, they had made a huge mistake."
Sadly, even a brilliantly-executed hack such as this cannot give Dolfans what they really want, a mulligan on the entire Ireland-Bill Parcells era of Dolphins history. But at least they have something to laugh at, if only for a few moments before resuming the downward spiral into football-induced malaise.