You woke up this morning and didn't mind, because training camp opens in Davie. There's a lift in your step, a smile on your lips, and you magically managed to grow a full beard overnight. Everything is better.
Dolphins players, meanwhile, rose from their beds apparently mangey, possibly rabid, and definitely ready to tear something limb from limb (let's hope it's the NFL): team members are sporting orange shirts that read, in the usual Miami font:
There's no word on where this wolf thing came from -- cornerback Sean Smith tweeted that the shirt was in his locker yesterday -- or why it isn't FEED THE ADORABLE GREY AQUATIC MAMMAL. What is certain is that the wolf is not Tony Sparano, who has lost 55 pounds on his new diet and exercise plan. He now looks like guest player from C.H.I.P.s.
And what we personally hope is certain is that this isn't the marketing department's viral announcement that Twilight's Taylor Lautner is the latest minority owner in a bid to capture tweens, cat ladies, and lonely people from the midwest.
But Sparano, for his part, is also on the wolf tip.
"This is football season right now," he said before practice. "We know we have to take care of our business. Start fast. And then fight for Bella's hand."
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AHHHH! Just kidding. That last part is fake. But if Sparano gets his wish, his Dolphins might just feed the wolf this year after all: Ronnie Brown is back, and Ricky Williams is still here, and both have their own personal Lady Cluck in Lousaka Polite. Marshall gives the Fins the explosive play ability they've been missing with their ground-heavy game, and Mike Nolan is now here to whip the D into shape while crafty ol' crazypants Dan Henning is set to unleash God knows what with The Robot Chad Henne.
That Stephen Ross prediction could happen (hey, if Marky Mark has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, anything is possible) and you can watch it begin. All training camp practices are open to the public, where you'll be nearly as subject to death by heat stroke as the 80 players on the field.
But what a way to go: getting a first look at shiny new toy Brandon Marshall, gaping at Karlos Dansby, and getting lost in Chad Henne's chin dent.
Mmmmm, Chad Henne's chin. Like a cloven potato carved by armless gods.
There's questions of course, but that's for later. Today is for optimism, sweating, joy, following Sean Smith's Twitter updates (already today: a locker room photo!), and feeding the wolf. Whatever that means.
Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.
