Dolphins Gotta Take It on the Run Tonight
The only way to make up for the running of the Parrotheads? Win.
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Give Ricky the ball. See Ricky smile. Win!
It's been so long since the Dolphins won a regular season game in prime time -- nearly five years -- Britney Spears has birthed and ruined two whole children in the interim. Tonight, however, Miami gets a chance to redeem themselves, opening at home against the Colts on ESPN's "Monday Night Football."
That also means it's time for The Stephen Ross Experience, which should not at all or ever involve Jennifer Lopez and a national anthem, but who knows? (Actually, it means 600 Parrotheads will dance to Jimmy Buffett's Fins song at halftime, which won't make Miami a laughingstock in front of America. Nope, not at all.) The important part happens on the field, where the Dolphins have to run the ball if they want to win this one.
If last week's lackluster outing in Atlanta taught us anything, it's that the playmaker-less Dolphins don't have the talent to win when they aren't playing smart. That means keeping golden-armed pony boy Peyton Manning off the field, and pounding the rock is the best way to do that as it drains the clock on offense and keeps the Dolphins in manageable third-down situations.
It sounds simple, but Miami inexplicably abandoned the ground game -- or the one with Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, anyway -- in Atlanta last week after the first half. To be fair, they'd gained 38 yards on 10 carries, but they'd also held the Falcons to 10 points. Once they gave up on Ronnie and Ricky, it was three-and-out time, and then the sky rained blood, everyone started breathing into paper bags, and we can no longer talk about the rest of it.
Tonight's a new night, and it brings a sad rush defense that ranked just 24th in the league last season. Though the Colts added a few more physical tackles, the Jaguars -- the Jaguars! -- still took them for 114 yards last week.
Imagine how much more successful Brown and Wiliams could be.
Last season, Indianapolis was 5-1 when allowing less than 100 yards, but 7-3 when they did, with 5 of those 7 wins were by four points or less. In other words, to stay within 4 points and position yourself for a win against these Colts, you run.
And if not? Well, then it's Chad Pennington fending off sackmaster Dwight Freeney all night, quickly followed by Manning play-actioning the Dolphins to death, and two rookie corners trying to contain Reggie Wayne. And Britney Spears might birth a two-headed hydra before the Fins are given another shot.
Janie Campbell hopes his desire to beat up the guy from Pro Football Talk means Channing Crowder plays like Animal from The Muppets tonight. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.
Copyright NBC Owned Television Stations
Posted Monday, Sep 21, 2009 - 6:30 AM EST
