Behold the Power of God, and its ability to stop the run!
Just when you think fabulous sports names like Velvet Milkman, Destiny Frankenstein, and Spaceman Africa can't be topped, along comes a high school defensive end from Hialeah named -- wait for it -- God's Power Offor.
Offor has been getting all sorts of attention since recruiting guru Larry Blustein added the 6'2", 220-pounder from American High to his list of rising local talents in the Miami Herald. Enamored of his name, but having no other details, college football blog Every Day Should Be Saturday was left to conclude that someone with so glorious a moniker must look like Falcor the luckdragon from "The NeverEnding Story."
But God's Power is the smiling face you see above, and he neither has a tail nor can fly. He can't transfigure himself or turn opposing players to pillars of salt, either -- he can only take the heat off poor Dick Butkus for a minute.
And to think it almost didn't happen.
His parents had saddled G.P., as he's known to friends, with his unusual handle when the family lived in Nigeria. It was cool there, he says. Everybody loved it. People thought he was "blessed."
Then the family moved to the, er, less-accommodating streets of Miami when God's Power was 7, and junior high's alright for smiting when people make fun of your name.
Horrified by the teasing, Offor's mother picked up paperwork to legally turn him from "God's Power" into the decidedly less exciting "David."
But G.P. couldn't bring himself to sign the papers and go through with it. "This name has done everything for me," Offor told Sports Illustrated. "This name made me who I am."
In that case, we sorta wish our parents had gone with "Fabulous Pulitzer Hunkmagnet," or "Lottery Winner Jones," but what can you do?
Except put money down now on Offor to take next March's Name of the Year contest, of course.
Janie Campbell already misses departed Dolphin Scorpio Babers, but is glad SirVincent Rogers is still on the team. Someone has to pick up the slack around town when God's Power goes to college! Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.