Isiah Starts FIU Tenure Like Isiah

Darkness! imprisoning me/all that I see/absolute horror/I cannot live/I cannot die/trapped in myself -- May we suggest Metallica for the theme song of the Thomas tenure?

By JANIE CAMPBELL

Updated 1:30 PM EST, Thu, Nov 5, 2009

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His debut went just about as you'd expect from one Isiah Thomas: Florida International fell to NAIA Northwood last night, 71-61.

(Northwood, it turns out, is in West Palm Beach. Who knew?)

You can argue that this was just an exhibition game and doesn't mean anything, and you'd be right. The team is still coming together, an offense is still gelling, everyone's just warming up. A coaching change requires patience, and losses that shouldn't, sometimes happen.

But you'd also be wrong, because the NAIA, while not technically banned from possessing good athletes, is below Division III in the college sports hierarchy. And Isiah Thomas' last coaching job was with the New York Knicks.

OF THE NBA.

Hey, at least no one was groped! Just because he's failed on everyone previous platform doesn't mean Thomas is doomed at FIU; it just puts his chances for failure at 99%. So the man deserves the same about of patience that any rebuilding coach would get, which is to say, fans will give him about three games and then call for his head.

The more immediate challenge now facing Thomas and the Golden Panthers is surviving a more public thrashing at the hands of North Carolina, the defending NCAA champs with whom they open the season on Monday.

Zoinks!

Janie Campbell really hopes this works out in the end, actually. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.