There's Hardware Out There For a Pimp

What, no fatigues?

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Ready for his close-up: Jacory Harris got loose on the radio yesterday and made Miami a better place.

    Miami's hometown hero Jacory Harris delightfully broke loose during a radio interview with Dan Le Batard on 790 The Ticket yesterday. 

    Le Batard, who moaned about how boring some young interviewees could be before his show went live with Harris, clearly didn't know what he was in for.  Jacory sang along briefly to Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight," instructed listeners on the three stages of his Afro growth (the start, the "little ugly stage," where Harris says he is now, and the "busting out of the cocoon...like an Afro butterfly"), and generally showed a little more leg than we're used to from Miami quarterbacks (previous requirements: white, dorky).

    Harris' budding hairstyle, the result of a pinkie swear challenge with freshman Brandon McGee, isn't the only thing 'Canes fans have to look forward to. When Le Batard asked if Number 12 felt any pressure to win a Heisman Trophy during his time at Miami, the cool-as-a-cucumber Harris gamely veered right off the traditional I'm-just-glad-to-be-here quarterback script

    "No, it's not pressure at all.  I expect that.  I expect that.  I expect it because you're supposed to expect great things. You're supposed to expect the best, so...I'm gonna get on stage with a pink suit on...The pink suit, the pimp cup, and all. With diamonds and stuff all the way around it."

    That would indeed be "the best." An acceptance speech by a tall, reedy Huggy Bear would certainly make up for years of bland winners like Eric Crouch and a certain virgin up in Gainesville.

    Speaking of, Harris was surprised to learn of Tim Tebow's recent admission of chastity: "Tebow said that? I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I've got friends up there at Florida, I don't believe it...I think Tebow's lying...But you really can't say things to nobody about that situation because I guess that's a religious reason; some lines you don't wanna really cross."

    Oh, goody!  Let Gators message boards forget the concept of fun and humor and erupt with righteous indignation!  After years of lifeless soundbites and equally limp scoreboards, it appears that a certain swaggery squad is on its way back, pimp suit-first.

    We've missed you, boys.