Jason Taylor Wants You to Eat His Lunch
It's a heart attack on a plate, but it's a heart attack on a plate for the kids
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Does this burger come it, or with, a sack?
When you're a sports celebrity, you do things normal people do already and get all sorts of credit for it: cook your own meal, blog, and add one random ingredient to a regular ol' cheeseburger and call it your own.
We do the last part at home, except with a sauce so secret no one bothers to ask about it (hint: it's mayonnaise and ketchup). When you're a Dolphin, on the other hand, you do the same, add an extra slice of cheddar, slap a couple jalapeños on it, and save the children while you're at it.
That's what's happening at Stop Burger in Weston with the new Jason Taylor Burger, a "lean, mean, All-American gourmet burger built by NFL/Miami Dolphins star Jason Taylor himself."
Sadly, that doesn't mean JT is sweating away in the back placing your tomatoes juuuust so, but it does mean that he picked out a couple toppings and Stop Burger is giving 50% of the net proceeds from sales to the Jason Taylor Foundation.
(Considering it might prompt a few people to drive to west Broward, they oughta rename it the "Miracle Burger.")
But it begs the question: what if other Dolphins got in on the act? Would there be a Joey Porterhouse that's more sauce than satisfaction? Would it automatically come with a hair in it? Or would his be made with tongue?
The Chad Henne, of course, would look really tasty only to come out a little rare; the WildPattie would be delicious; and the receivers' creations would never make the menu because they'd taste as bland as their makers.
Ricky Williams would hide a pile of herbs under his bun (or ask to do a brownie dessert instead), and Jake Long's would be constructed of eight patties, 400 slices of cheese, and 11 toothpicks -- so here's hoping this comes to fruition.
The only one we wouldn't eat? The Parcells Tuna Melt. No one likes the metallic aftertaste that accompanies food make with an iron fist.
Copyright NBC Owned Television Stations
Posted Thursday, Sep 10, 2009 - 1:02 PM EST
