Denver Broncos vs. Seattle Seahawks, Feb. 2, 2014

Kim Kardashian Overdoes Super Bowl Wheels

There go the plans to assasinate Kim Kardashian no one ever made.

By Janie Campbell
|  Thursday, Jan 28, 2010  |  Updated 10:33 AM EDT
View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print
Famous for Being Famous: Celebutants in the Aughts

Getty Images for Prive

LAS VEGAS - JANUARY 26: Television personality Kim Kardashian (L) and NFL player Reggie Bush appear as Kardashian hosts a night at Prive Las Vegas inside the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino January 26, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images for Prive)

advertisement
Photos and Videos
More Photos and Videos

Forget Edgerrin James' happy-Super-Bowl-to-me Lamborghini of last year, or Chad Ochocino's rolling birthday splurge -- both just a spot of indulgence after a bit of hard work.

The chutzpah belongs to Saints running back Reggie Bush's girlfriend, reality show/sex tape star Kim Kardashian, who will be needlessly rolling around Miami for the Super Bowl in an amored stretch vehicle best described as the offspring of a Brinks truck, a tank, and a military-grade wilingness to shill for any product, any time.

The Armor Horse tank/limo hybrid 2009 Vault XXL2, which rents for about $8,000 a night, has composite ballistic panels, bullet-resistant windows, functioning gun ports, and bulletproof emergency escape hatches.

The interior has plush seating for 28 people, six and a half feet of standing room, two bars, seven televisions, satellite radio, iPod ports, and DVD players, and comes in finishes like "Jet Setter," "Cigar Bar," Mega Yacht," and "Shagadelic." (What, no "I'm Compensating?")

In other words, this is the stupidest automobile ever built, unless you're an innocent bystander in the Sudan, Burundi, Iraq, or Afghanistan, or perhaps a child in Sri Lanka trying to get home through a field of unexploded land mines. The toughest part of Kim Kardashian's week, however, is hosting the annual Leather & Laces posefest with Playboy playmate Holly Madison at the Paris Theatre -- so perhaps her sense of propriety has escaped out one of those hatches already.

But that's the American Celebrity Industrial Complex for you: we never felt like actually shooting Kim Kardashian until she topped herself by getting a car that made it impossible. Looks like we're stuck with these people.

Janie Campbell thinks this amount of protection is only acceptable when you consider Kim Kardashian does know OJ Simpson. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.

Get the latest headlines sent to your inbox!
View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print
Leave Comments
What's New
Get Our New iPad App
Now optimized for iPad, NBC 6... Read more
Follow Us
Sign up to receive news and updates that matter to you.
Send Us Your Story Tips
Check Out