After a post-game celebration involving drinking, debauchery, and fisticuffs, Marlins pitcher Sean West is Philadelphia limo driver Big Penny's most wanted.

Unfortunately, that position doesn't come with relief, and Big Penny -- who is both very large and very upset about what happened in his Cadillac DTS Saturday night -- is letting everyone know that West owes him a car cleaning.

Seems West wasn't able to stumble from the door of a place called G Lounge and into a waiting limo without getting into a shoving match, or make it back to the team hotel without heckling bystanders and nearly getting beat down.  

And it seems one of the five ladies that accompanied West -- Philly.com chastely called them "cleat chasers" -- couldn't hold her liquor and vomited in Penny's car.

That prompted Big Penny to pull over on Philadelphia's Market Street. There, he says, West nearly passed out.

"This [person who has maternal relations] was laying on the ledge with his flip-flops on," Penny said.

Oh, but unlike the Marlins' season, it wouldn't end there. West promised Penny he'd cover the cleaning "since he has a lot of money." But when the group was finally deposited at the team's hotel, West declared both his intention to fetch a towel and take one of the ladies to bed, headed inside, and never returned.

In the sober light of Sunday morning, West denied knowing any of his fellow passengers until Big Penny pointed out that West had just had sex with one of them: “You told me you were banging the one girl."

Oh, right....her.

So, to recap: a Marlins pitcher went happy, frisky, and flighty on Philly, and though he spent quality time with five ladies he only slid into home with one of them.

Clearly, he's not the closer the Fish are looking for.

All yours, Big Penny.