Marlins' New Home Is Pretty Fishy

Our new home plate backstop is alive and swimming, but it won't have sharks. We already checked.

As if its spaceship qualities and flying, flashing home run feature weren't unusual enough, today the Marlins announced that in lieu of a boring ol' home plate backstop their new stadium will feature giant twin custom saltwater aquariums -- each exhibiting fish and coral reef ecosystems that are synonymous with South Florida.

Finally, a place where Chris Coghlan can walk on water (and the bullpen drowned en masse)!

Designed and Built in Ft. Lauderdale by the world’s leading custom aquarium manufacturer, Living Color Enterprises Inc., the aquariums have been designed to utilize the latest, cutting-edge technology and will incorporate unique features to ensure the safety and health of the many species of aquatic life that will inhabit them...

The aquarium to the right of home plate (when looking from the pitcher’s mound) measures an impressive 34 feet long, 36 inches high and holds over 600 gallons of seawater, while the aquarium to the left, will be 24 feet in length, holding 450 gallons of water.

Each aquarium will be constructed using a durable fiberglass structure; while crystal-clear acrylic panels 1.5 inches thick will be used for the impressive viewing windows that run the entire length of the aquariums.

The Marlins say that Lexan, the material used to make bulletproof glass, will be installed in panels front and back to protect the live, swimming sea creatures from any errant balls, meaning the team is really passing up a great business opportunity in the name of safety. If they really wanted capitalize on the new park, the Fish would fill this thing with eels and not protect it all. Season ticket sales for days!

Owner Jeffrey Loria says the fish tanks are just the latest innovation that will make the new stadium the "pride of Miami." He might be right, but it's also just one Scarface poster away from being the pride of MTV Cribs now, too. Not sure we've ever anticipated an opening day more.

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