Miami, Are You Ready For Some Football?
Expect the unexpected tonight
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Jason Taylor wants you to be ready for anything.
No one really knows if the Miami Dolphins are ready for prime time, but all of Stephen Ross' efforts in the offseason has led us to believe that the bright lights of Monday Night Football might bring a night full of unexpected surprises. Let's hop right into our Top 10 list, shall we.
10. Miami-Dade corrections bought up the last few hundred tickets so orange jumpsuit wearing inmates can fill a section of the stands. Everyone knows you have to have a stadium filled with the team colors for those ESPN aerials.
9. T-Pain, J. Lo and Gloria Estefan will join forces to sing the remix to National Anthem. It will not be televised.
8. Stephen Ross will have a major announcement that he has changed the name of the stadium in the second quarter to Fontainebleau Field. It will return to Land Shark Stadium at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
7. Dolphins part owner Serena Williams will threaten to shove that bleeping whistle down a referee's bleeping throat if Jake Long is called for one more holding penalty.
6. After the Dolphins first offensive touchdown, everyone in the stadium will be served delicious Jason Taylor burgers. Let's hope no one goes to the game on an empty stomach.
5. Reggie Wayne will get home sick and switch teams midway through the second quarter.
4. Chad Pennington will actually throw a ball longer than 15 yards down the field. He will immediately leave the game because of shoulder soreness. Jacory Harris will take his place.
3. The Dolphins will run the Wildcat all game and announce that the offense will from now on be called the Rabid Porpoise.
2. Bill Parcells will lead the stadium in singing "Take me out to the ball game" at the end of the third quarter. He will be interrupted by Kanye West, who thinks Pat Riley could sing it better.
(drum roll please)
1. The Dolphins actually beat the Colts, 23-13.
Posted Monday, Sep 21, 2009 - 4:12 PM EST
