MIAMI - SEPTEMBER 27: Mike Miller #13 of the Miami Heat pose for photos during media day at the Bank United Center on September 27, 2010 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
It's that Mike Miller used to have a pet monkey, and that monkey once broke out of his house and rode one of his dogs around the neighborhood, and Miller eventually had to get rid of him on account of the two being too close.
This happened sometime between 2001, when Miller actually posed with his little Java Macaque "Sonny" in his (hysterical) official NBA photos, and 2003 when he left Orlando. But if there's one thing that never gets old, it's a monkey riding a Great Dane.
I left the house one day when I was in Orlando and I got a call later from my neighbor, who said that my dogs and monkey were walking around the neighborhood. I had put the monkey up in his room and shut his door and put the dogs outside. But sure enough, when I got home, my monkey was riding the Great Dane and they were walking up and down the street. He had unlocked his door, gone downstairs and opened the door for the dogs and taken them for a walk.
Amazing. Like The Basketball Jones points out, we just don't talk about this enough, and should probably bring it up at least once or twice a day.
Sonny had his own room in Miller's home, though Miller said "I didn't have no kids, so he got to post up wherever he wanted." The little guy ate grapes from the fridge, played billiards with his hands, and wore preemie diapers from which the 6'8" forward would lovingly cut holes in the shape of a tail.
Miller eventually had to get rid of Sonny because when his son was born he and his wife feared jealousy might cause the monkey to harm the baby. But the dog-riding story need never, ever die.