In an effort to avoid the layoffs that cost the franchise some of its business staff, coaches and other employees in basketball operations of the Miami Heat have accepted Pat Riley's request to take voluntary pay cuts of 2 to 20% for the upcoming year.
No news is good news where the Heat Dancers are concerned, but the reductions will cost Riley and head coach Erik Spoelstra "well into the six-figures," according to the Sun-Sentinel.
Riley didn't comment on the situation, probably because he's sitting in his closet weeping quietly into an Armani and exactingly drying his tears with a silk hankie. But the deep cut to the clothing budget isn't the first indication that the Heat are proactively trying to stay belly up in the cold economic climate: the team has long been expected to carry 13 players into the season, 2 below the league maximum.
In May, about 20 employees, including former NBA player and community affairs director Wali Jones, were axed from the business side of the franchise.
Riley said the team is eying ways to increase revenue, including selling sponsorship opportunities on the team's practice apparel (how about Band Wades?). Other NBA teams have trimmed their coaching staffs or scouting budgets, but the Heat confirmed all assistant coaches would return.
Here's a suggestion: do nothing, and if the situation becomes unbearable, well, what's good for the fans should be good for the staff.
Really, what's not to love about doing "48 Hours of Intense Heat: Health Insurance for the Family Edition"? Unemployment's not a laughing matter (unless we're talking James Van Der Beek, in which case it's hilarious) but here it sounds about right: no one in management would have to make any hard decisions, everyone could save his or her own job if he's up for it, and it's another chance for publicity and fan involvement.
Sports
If no one survives on sunshine, hot dogs, and afternoons with Burnie? Well, maybe they deserve it for what we all went through watching the team in 2007.
Janie Campbell suggests everyone save by moving into one of Dwyane Wade's 8,000 living rooms. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.
