Say It Ain't CEO: Phins To Be the New Red Sox

Miami owner Steve Ross picks Boston's Mike Dee to "re-brand" Dolphins. Eep!

By JANIE CAMPBELL

Updated 9:57 AM EST, Mon, May 4, 2009

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Look, we get it. Professional sports are about money. A franchise is an investment. And it's difficult to be competitive without financial resources, so business and marketing departments drive the whole shebang.

But did the Dolphins really have to hire the guy who presumably approved the Red Sox name for use in the Jimmy Fallon/Drew Barrymore crapfest "Fever Pitch?"

It's bad enough we'll soon have to call Dolphin Stadium something related to Margaritaville.

Owner Stephen Ross, who's expressed his desire to re-brand the storied Dolphins and make games a celebrity destination, has lured Sox executive Mike Dee down to South Florida to serve as CEO of the Dolphins and Dolphin Stadium. Dee will be "responsible for the business development and growth of both entities and to position the team and the stadium in the forefront of the sports and entertainment field."

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And here's where we cringe, resist re-branding, and whine about "change:" while Ross trills that Dee ""greatly expanded [the Red Sox's] business footprint," too much entertainment in our sports is supremely irritating. Sure, Dee's tenure with the Sox saw record attendance numbers and boatloads of cash, but there is a lot about The Boston Red Sox Experience that's awful cloying (and, let's face it: pure unadulterated evil).

From the pre-worn "B" hats for bandwagon fans, to the $200 fee charged to join the Ultimate Fan Group of Red Sox Nation, to their foray into auto racing (is this not a baseball team?), to Ben Affleck's gamy mug on TV all the time...the Sox became overbearing and omnipresent to the point of nausea.

Did we mention "Fever Pitch?"

So here's hoping we won't have to ever remind ourselves we're parked in lot Coppertone, section Tommy Bahama, row Cheeseburger in Paradise, brought to us and our vehicles by the Chris Klein-Jessica Alba romantic comedy "End Zone Flipper."

Janie Campbell wrote of her nightmare of seeing "Margaritaville" on Dolphin Stadium one week, and by the next week it was reality; perhaps she should stick to predicting Super Bowl wins. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.