Vokoun Tastes “Real” Fandom, Cats Plot Revamp

Fine! Canada is better at this than us! For the millionth time!

Let's see -- the Dolphins just finished a season at 7-9; the Heat, in the midst of a playoffs battle, lost at home to a pathetic T-Wolves team that was 4-23 on the road; and now the one bright spot for the Florida Panthers sounds like he's seconds from defecting in Vancouver. Great.

"You get goose bumps standing in the crease before the game, the atmosphere is unbelievable," said Czech national teamer Tomas Vokoun of the "real" hockey fans in Canada. "You see all kinds of people with Canadian jerseys in the stands, they come to any game and that shows how much they love hockey in this country...

"Where I play in the States, well to come here Canadians really show how much they love hockey. They go to any games and enjoy."

Alright, fine! We're bad at this! There are fanatical Panthers fans, of course, but in a larger sense, he's right: South Florida doesn't care about hockey, at least when the team isn't winning, and, well...poor Tomas Vokoun.

The man only has 19 wins in 51 starts, despite leading the NHL in save percentage (.931) and shutouts (7, tied with Marty Brodeur). He's 11th in GAA (2.36). Yet the Panthers' offense is so soul-crushingly, league bottom-ly awful the Panthers still aren't even challenging for the last available playoff spot.

They haven't even managed to score three goals for a whopping fourteen games. Going to play in Canada in the men's quarterfinals must be like plopping Tiger Woods down in the middle of a club hostesses convention.

Fortunately for Vokoun, the Panthers' new owners are fed up as well. They recently released a an atomic bomb of a letter to fans, which said, and here we paraphrase: "The team stinks, we've had it to here, everyone is on the chopping block -- even your favorite players -- and it's going to be painful so please be patient while we put together something you'll actually want to cheer (and pay) for."

It's about time an owner acknowledged that hockey in Florida isn't an if-you-field-it kind of deal. It was as bold a statement as any owner in any sport has ever given, and, if they can actually get to the bar they've set, would certainly solve the whole why-can't-our-fans-be-Canada-fans thing.

Only problem is, Vokoun may not be around to experience it -- once you go 'nuck, you don't come back, and he's already said he's open to waiving his no-trade clause.

Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.

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