With the Miami Hurricanes set to begin spring practice on Friday, head football coach Al Golden has been reticent when asked when he will name a starting quarterback. He told the Miami Herald this week that he does not plan on naming a starter until the fall "unless somebody just steals the show in the spring." Golden prefers to see returning quarterbacks Jacory Harris, Stephen Morris, and Spencer Whipple compete for the job and make his decision for him with their performance on the field.
It's nice that Golden will take that approach to naming the starting signal-caller, but we think he should consider a few other factors besides performance in practice. The quarterback is the face of the team, after all. Let's see how Harris and Morris stack up in a few key off-field categories (we're leaving out Whipple since we don't know of anyone who thinks he has a shot at starting).
Fashion sense: Jacory Harris has dreamed of wearing a pink suit to the Heisman Trophy ceremony and is fond of Louis Vuitton scarves. Unfortunately, he also likes to sport Oakland Raiders overalls. Stephen Morris has yet to show us any sartorial flair. Advantage: Harris
Twitter feeds: Whereas Morris mostly laments about how boring his classes are, Harris engages in the kind of philosophical navel-gazing that makes us glad Twitter wasn't around when we were in college. Advantage: Push
Anagrams: Jacory Harris is an anagram of "Ajar Cry Oh Sir" and "I Carry Jars Ho." Stephen Morris is an anagram of "Morphine Rests," "Horniest Sperm," and "Three Sin Romps." Sounds dangerous, but alluring. Advantage: Morris
Hair: Jacory gave us U SWAG, while Morris goes for a more conservative look. Advantage: Harris.
Using these metrics, Harris edges out Morris, which may not please some Canes fans. Luckily for them, Morris can still overcome this deficit on the practice field.
David Hill is a Miami native who spent most of his childhood at the Orange Bowl.