Some Miami fans might consider getting banned from the stadium a blessing these days, but two men accused of stealing Dolphins jerseys by stuffing them down their pants appear to have chosen the hard way out.
"Bess?" asked the bond court judge Monday, reading the back of Nelson Walker's jersey. "Is he new this year?"
"This ain't the one, your honor," Walker protested.
Walker, 40, and James A. Hanna, 49, stand accused of third degree theft by Miami-Dade police. Authorities say the pair were hanging around during Sunday's loss to the Texans when they took two jerseys and a hat, hid them in their pants, and tried to leg it.
(Perhaps, like games, the pair assumed the Dolphins were just giving stuff away.)
Both men appeared in bond court Monday, where Judge Diane Ward put bond at $5,000 -- approximately 8,000,000,000 times more than the street value of aqua and orange tops during an 0-2 start.
"Your honor, obviously [it] was a losing proposition for yesterday -- for Mr. Hanna, for the Dolphins for everybody," said a public defender.
After Judge Ward noted that the value of the jerseys and hat was $301.74, Hanna's attorney remarked the hats and jerseys were "really expensive."
"Have you been out there lately?" quipped the judge.
Hanna told the court he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and accepted an offer to go to hospital instead of jail.
Walker, who has 29 priors according to the court, was officially banned from the stadium.