Florida Teacher Needs Lesson in Cabs, Potties
Go Directly to Jail. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Go To the Head of the Class.
Lee County Sherrif's Office
Do not pass go. Do not proceed to the head of the class.
We thought the three R's stood for reading, writing, and arithmetic, but maybe they stand for rip-roaring drunk, relieving oneself, and being read Miranda rights. One Florida teacher seemed to think so, judging from a boozy traffic-and-potty-stop that probably found her wishing she'd received a Get Out of Jail Free card for Christmas.
Jennifer Lee De Roberto, a 35-year-old Hillsborough County Schools employee from Temple Terrace, was arrested Wednesday after urinating on a curb in Fort Myers.
If only that were all.
Naples News reports that De Roberto nearly struck a Lee County deputy at 50 miles an hour after failing to switch lanes while the officer attended to a traffic stop on Highway 80. Another deputy pulled her over further down the road, and reported that when De Roberto rolled her window down, the smell of alcohol came "wafting out."
"I'm a good person. Why are you doing this to me?" she said, according to the arrest reports.
De Roberto claimed she had not been drinking, but that she was the designated driver for the evening. She was the only passenger in the car, however, which was found to be carrying three full and one half-opened bottle of Sutter Home wine (surely a crime against the palate, if not a violation of open container laws).
Two breathalyzer tests put her blood alcohol level at .20, well above double the legal limit of .08.
After failing field sobriety tests, De Roberto plead her case by pulling down her pants and urinating in an adjacent parking lot -- right in front of a young girl and her grandmother manning a fireworks stand.
No word on if either of them cried, "I'm a good person. Why are you doing this to me?"
De Robert is being charged with indecent exposure and driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Here's guessing her first day back at school isn't going to be very fun, and hoping she behaves during Show and Tell.
Posted Saturday, Dec 26, 2009 - 2:19 PM EST
