Reviewers Rip Miami Anti-“Social”

Apparently the docu-series on life in the Magic City will make your eyes bleed

Generally speaking, reality TV is bad TV. But what's happening to Bravo's "Miami Social" before it even airs may be unprecedented.

Not since the Bubonic plague has something been so loathed and scorned. Don't believe us? When was the last time you heard a television show called a health hazard? Take a peek at what some of the critics have had to say about the Bravo docu-series, which premieres tonight at 9 p.m..

This nugget is from The New York Times: "Nothing so far has managed to capture the most gruesomely distasteful aspects of the city’s aimless capitalism quite like 'Miami Social.'”

The Boston Herald calls the show "pure tourist repellent." (RAAAAAIIIID!)

But probably the most scathing review, aside from the state's surgeon general slapping a warning on the show saying too much exposure to the cast is hazardous to your health, comes from the local paper, the Miami Herald.

It doesn't get much worse than saying, "I'm saying it's so bad it will make you regret being born with eyes." Actually it does. In the same review, the Herald opines, "I'd sooner eat lunch with a mutilated corpse from 'CSI: Miami' or 'Dexter' than be trapped at a table with the 'Miami Social' cast."

About the only thing that hasn't been said about "Miami Social" is, "I'd rather live in Castro-run Cuba and go jogging suit shopping with Fidel all day than be subjected to the shallow cast members of 'Miami Social.'"

Wait, we just said it.

All reviews should be taken with a grain of salt because, after all, critics are paid to criticize. And a mound of salt appears to be the only thing that might make Miami Social palatable.

But don't be scared to take the "Miami Social" challenge and see if you can last an hour without stabbing your eyes out. Just remember you've been warned. 

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