GOOD KNIGHT: The closest we've gotten to learning how to play chess is watching "Searching for Bobby Fischer." We'll stick to checkers, thank you very much, and leave the brainy board game skills to Alexandra Kosteniuk. The Women's World Chess Champion tells all in her autobiography "Diary of a Chess Queen." She reads tonight at Books and Books. 8 P.M.
AT YOUR SERVICE: It's tough being in the hospitality biz in a city not known for its kind, genteel nature. For those who slice, dice, serve and shake (cocktails, that is), there's Service Station Mondays at the News Lounge. In addition to discount drinks, there are also prizes to be won, like spa passes at The Standard and an espresso machine courtesy of the News Lounge. 9 P.M.
LOU AND BEHOLD: For cheep beer without the prizes, head to Lou's Beer Garden. The hidden gem in back of the New Hotel on North Beach. Don't expect pitchers of Bud Light, though. This is a garden. A garden of American craft brews. Sometimes there's live music, sometimes someone's really awesome iPod is playing indie rock faves. Either way, it's the perfect spot to get away from all that is cruel and depressing about Monday. 4:30 P.M.-2:30 A.M.