A RIVERS RUNS THROUGH IT: Believe it or not, Joan Rivers has accomplished much more than winning the title for "living plastic." She's also an Emmy Award-winning comedian, author, actress, playwright, television talk show host, fashion commentator, and winner of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice. She also has quite a mouth, and tonight at the Adrienne Arsht Center you'll get to hear some colorful words. Just don't expect too many facial expressions. 8 P.M.
HAPPY JAZZ HANDS: Contrary to Club 50's usual weekend adventures in partying, they'll be toning it down for you hard workers with a Happy Hour and Jazz Night. A $20 flat fee includes complimentary wine and cheese and some Liset Alea and the Sexy Trio's bossa nova renditions of punk and new wave hits. Simmer down before another workday slaps us in the face. 6 P.M.
BEAUTY IS CHEAP: Prettycity.com really does make beauty cheap at the Newport Beachside Hotel and Resort during their sample sale. Stock up on your beauty necessities at flea-market prices; experience complimentary spa treatments and on-site makeovers; and get bonus cocktails, sweet treats, and goodie bags. Gives new meaning to the song, "I enjoy being a girl." 6 P.M.