Contrary to popular prejudice, the ugly holiday sweater is more than just an unsightly bore worn on a dare by party people everywhere; and it’s not just something colorful for Aunt Iowa to give to her distant relatives either. It’s traditional despite itself; funny in both odd and ha ha ways, and apparently represents more reasons to be cheerful during the season to be jolly than any other item ever imagined. Why else would it be the backbone of crazy Christmas parties from coast to coast? If Nick and Jochy have their way though, Friday’s First Annual Ugly Holiday Sweater Party will prove the unsightly bore worn on a dare works the most wildest of wonders when it’s draped over the shoulders of the prettiest party people anywhere.
Are you really throwing an Ugly Holiday Sweater Party or is this some kinda psycho hipster code for something even more surreal? Guilty as charged… Nothing says Xmas more than Jochy in a pretty sweater set. And we are secretly trying to get hipsters to wear red and green….
Is it all really happening at a place called The Broken Shaker? Yes it’s the best little new spot on the Beach -- a cool speakeasy bar on 28th and Indian Creek. I love cocktails from Bar Lab; they change them every week. Plus they they have a pool so we can have a late night wet sweater contest! Also upstairs is a hostel, so there are lots of beds to crash J.
We talkin’ Reverend Horton Heat “We Three Kings” or Bing’s traditional “White”? I think it’s more Chistmakkah… Think Star of David meets Star of Bethlehem. Mangers and dreidels... Models and bottles… The usual.
Will we see Real Housewives kissing Santas under the mistletoe? Yes some real and some not so real housewives... But I don’t think Santa will be the only one kissed under the mistletoe… Jochy will be with group of model boys, so there will be lots of kissing going on.
Will there be cross-dressing Santas too? Of course… Though Santa’s beard covers their Adam’s apples. But you can tell when you sit on their laps.
Speaking of apparel, word is a very legendary fashionista lent you some of her most cherished sweaters; that so? Yep, but I’m not at liberty to reveal her name. I can say she’s sending a bevy of beauties to wear some of that ghastly collection though. And nothing proves the ugliness of a sweater better than when it’s worn by someone really truly pretty.
What other merrymakers might we expect not wearing their best? Lots and lots of fun friends like Roy Alpert, Sebastian Puga, Chris Paciello, Eric Meier, Jillian Sanz, Dana Shear, Daniela Sweabe, Maria Arguello, Michael Comras, Shari Lu, Rebekah Kieda, author Petra Mason, Francesca Cruz to name of few. It’ll be a blast to see all everybody during the best time of year!
Any last words before we all come down with fool tide cheer? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow….. Ho! Ho! Ho! Saint Nick!
Nick & Jochy’s 1st Annual Ugly Holiday Sweater Party Friday 12/21 9pm at The Broken Shaker at Freehand Miami 2727 Indian Creek Drive Miami Beach. RSVP at firstname.lastname@example.org Subject Line: Holiday Party