Unless you're reading this from a smart phone, chances are you're not among the many few fortunate enough to be setting sail on the inaugural Bruise Cruise. Otherwise, you'd be kicking back a cocktail right about now amid a contingent of indie racket-makers while the Miami skyline fades into the distance. But fret not dear reader, because Niteside hit Grand Central last night for the Bruise Cruise kick-off party and managed to persuade Vivian Girls' Kickball Katy Goodman to give us the ol' black-and-blue. Never has a knock on the noggin felt so good.
We'll make this quick... Cool.
Black or blue? Black.
Aw, I was hoping you'd say both, you know, for Bruise? Figured as much. But do I look like the kinda gal who falls for set-ups?
Now that you mention it, no. So I'll move on: Knife or gun? Gun.
Okay, you're the shooting type. Gotcha. If you were to slug someone, would you use a right cross or a left jab? I assume a right cross since I'm right-handed. People generally stay outta slugging range though.
What's the most bruising song you've ever heard in your life? Bruising how, as in ego? 'Cause I could name a few of those.
Could be bruising heart, bruising ego, whatever you prefer. Um, probably Carly Simon's "You're So Vain."
Good one. Okay, boxers, do you have a favorite? No, but I like the dogs a lot.
Huh? Like the French punk band? No, no, like the breed [you knucklehead]. The dogs with the smushy face; they're very cute.
Duh. Sorry. Joe Louis famously said: "Let your right fist be the referee." Would you agree? Yes.
Is there such a thing as a clean fight? Sure.
Would you fight one? I do fight clean fights all the time -- with my words, and my ideas.
But is that really a clean fight? Seems to me you clearly have the upper hand. Yeah, it's clean. I don't cheat. I don't lie.
You don't cheat? You don't lie? Ever? Nope.
So no country music for you? I like country music.
But it's all liars and cheaters. It's about liars and cheaters; I don't think it's by liars and cheaters. Not the best of it anyway. The songs are pretty honest.
You know, you're absolutely right. And I think we'll end with those words... Thank you! Sure.
Have a kickass Bruise Cruise! Will do.