Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and try crushing progressively larger empty aluminum cans on your forehead. Sure, you can do a Foster’s can. But what of this DAB miniature keg? Not so cocky now, are ye? LET’S GO!
THE WOMEN OF SNL – 9:00PM (NBC) It’s a two-hour retrospective featuring some of the most luminescent female SNL alums of the past 35 years, including Tina Fey, Gilda Radner, Cheri Oteri, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Amy Poehler, and, of course, Jimmy Fallon, the prettiest girl SNL ever recruited! Conspicuously absent from this special? Ellen Cleghorne, Melanie Hutsell, and, of course, present-day Victoria Jackson. She’s crazy now.
This special helps highlight the way women have gone from throw-ins in the early days of SNL to, during the Fey Era, the dominant creative force on the show. In fact, the pendulum has now swung too far the other way, and the show is direly lacking in standout male performers who can make it through a sketch without cracking up and ruining it. Curse you, Horatio Sanz! ANTICIPATION: GIRL POWER!
DANCING WITH THE STARS – 8:00PM (ABC) It’s the 200th episode! Be there as the show brings back 50 former celebrity contestants for a little miniature reunion. In fact, it’s fifty-one former stars, if you count Evander Holyfield, who absent-mindedly wandered onto the set last night and just stayed there for no reason at all. ANTICIPATION: 50 STARS? THEY MATCH OUR FLAG!
THE FILMS OF THOMAS EDISON – 9:00PM (Turner Classic Movies) Take a look at 30 short films Thomas Edison made back in the infancy of cinema. It should be noted that none of these films are about Glenn Gould. Included in the shorts: footage of Annie Oakley, and footage of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake. Not included in the shorts: some of the more intimate films Edison took with his assistant, Trixie. ANTICIPATION: SO SO SO SO OLD!
HOARDERS – 10:00PM (A&E) Tonight’s hoarder eats expired food and loses a portion of her lower intestine (GAH!) to gangrene (GAHHHHHHH!). And so my days of ignoring the expiration dates on every pack of Jimmy Dean sausage I buy are officially over. ANTICIPATION: GRENE WITH ENVY!
STRIPES – 9:00PM (TVLand) Any of you call me Francis… and I’ll kill ya. ANTICIPATION: LIGHTEN UP, FRANCIS!