Bravo Hits All Time Low With Miami Social

The network's soon-to-be-aired reality show makes us feel better about ourselves

If there’s anything that would make us want to move to Amish country, it’s Bravo’s soon-to-be aired (July 14th) Miami Social.

The reality show following seven “friends” around as they drink with each other, berate each other and probably, sometime around sweeps week, sleep with each other has been getting a lot of gossip buzz lately, and finally we have been graced with a preview.

TMI: Miami

The video speaks for itself, but we’ll try to provide some choice highlights for your reading pleasure. And since we’re pretty sure no one in the show actually reads – and since they basically agreed to submit themselves to no-holds-barred scrutiny by participating in this embarrassment to humanity – we’re not going to candy-coat anything.

And by candy, we don’t mean coke.

But speaking of coke, it must be flowing pretty freely as the 24-hour lifestyle seems to be the one of choice among this group. Real estate notable and former 'Apprentice' competitor Katrina Campins claims she works 24-7 and wishes there are even more hours in the day to work (your 15 minutes are over, Kat, don’t bother); while a voiceover dramatically exclaims over shots of women in nightclubs who seem to have forgotten their pants: “Miami doesn’t sleep, I don’t sleep; there’s always a party going on somewhere.”

In addition to Campins, there’s celebrity journalist Michael Cohen, who met Campins while covering her wedding for a gossip rag and can’t seem to find a good man (shocker); George French and Hardy Hill, who are interchangeable suits with the personality of a mangrove; Maria and Sorah, also interchangeable with a combined IQ of a mangrove; and big tit lover, fat girl hater and self-proclaimed “incredible fashion producer” Ariel Stein.

This “close circle of seven friends who make this city spin” has plenty to say about Miami and why they love it so: “People spend money like crazy here…So much here is based on your looks, what you have… I’m never leaving.”

God help us.


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