Paula Abdul, Poet-Genius

You say she's crazy - we say she's just operating on a higher plane

American Idol judge Paula Abdul is a riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma coated in spray-tan. You may lob put-downs at her like "crazy" or "drunk" or "high as a kite," but we've long found her to have an almost childlike innocence, one that gives forth some of the richest, most profound language of the modern age. Like the Buddha, she at first seems to make no sense -- but this is misleading! She is in fact inviting us to make our own sense, for therein lies the path to true knowledge. (Paula operates on many planes at once.)

Entertainment Weekly knows of what we speak. They gathered 12 of Paula's most singular utterances from all 7.5 seasons of Idol into a magical flipbook called The Poetry of Paula Abdul. An excerpt:

Finding the Moth and the Melon, Still Looking for the Point

What did you tell me Simon?
What did you tell me?
Simon gave me advice
and he said that on The X-Factor
he always refers to a
fortune cookie
and says the moth
who finds the melon
finds the cornflake
always finds the melon
and one of you didn't get
the right fortune cookie.

See? The clouds part. You're on a higher plane of knowledge now.

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