SyFy Turns An Eye Toward the Everglades With “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid”

Get ready, Miami, for the best bad Debbie Gibson-and-Tiffany-starring movie ever to destroy downtown

On the occassion of tonight's Golden Globes, it seems only appropriate to bring news of a South Florida-set film that will never, ever win one.

"Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" is next in a string of purposeful B movies sister channel SyFy Channel has been rolling out since 2002, but it stands to be the biggest, and -- because it stars Miami, natch -- surely the best worst movie ever.

If you're not convinced on the title alone (after all, it's hard to top SyFy's "Sharktapus"), the story is based on a real struggle between native and imported species in the Everglades, most famously the startling discovery in 2005 of a released Burmese python that had burst while swallowing a 6-foot American alligator: '80s pop star Debbie Gibson plays a fanatical animal activist who releases exotic snakes into the swamp; her old charts rival Tiffany is the incensed park ranger who doses alligators with steroids in an effort to combat the invading hoard of snakes.

“We need a bigger gator," Tiffany's character deadpans.

Naturally, things do not go as planned with either experiment, and blimp-sized alligators proceed to wreck South Florida before duking it out in a batlle royale of jaws, scales, and fangs.

“We settle our old ’80s music rivalry by putting on short skirts and throwing snakes and ’gators at each other,” Gibson joked to the New York Times.

"Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" will be short on special effects budget as per B movie law, but will make up for it by going extra-long on camp: former Monkees drummer Mickey Dolenz signed on to play himself.

Unfortunately, you'll have to wait for Saturday, January 29 to grab your popcorn and watch the swamp destroy South Florida. But until then, we'll have that other creature feature on a constant loop outside our windows: "Affliction-Clad Club Fiends vs. Mandal-Wearing Tourists."

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