A Sobering Feeling: Miami’s Not So Drunk

Miami ranks 96th on the drunkest cities list

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Put down that mojito because you are going to need all your focus to read this.

Miami is one of the least drunk cities in America. OK, take another Patron shot and read again.

Men's Health magazine ranked the Magic City in the bottom five of the 100 "drunkest" cities. That's No. 96 for those of you used to cops asking you to count backwards.

The survey, which will be released in the March edition, reports USAToday, calculated its ranking based on DUI arrests, crashes and penalties and death rates from alcoholic liver disease.

Not that we're complaining, but ranking behind cities like Boise City, Idaho and Sioux Falls, South Dakota can't do much for our image as a party town. We barely beat out Mormonville, Salt Lake City.

Miami would have to at least rank high for high-profile drunkedness. Our celebrity-to-DUI ratio probably can't be matched. 

According to Men's Health, America's drunkest city is Fresno, California. And you'd never guest what city is the least drunk?

The home of "Cheers," Boston.

Now, go ahead and drink to that.

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