Forget a Village. Mom, Attorney Says It Takes a Nation State to Raise Twins

Jessica Yates was 32 years old when she made the choice to adopt twins.

As an attorney working for the foster care system, she was acutely aware of how many children were in need of parents in her community.

One day Yates heard about 7-month-old Khloe and Jordyn in a meeting, and after their first in-person encounter, she knew she would be their mom.

"At first I was apprehensive, but when I met my daughters and Jordan grabbed my nose, her nose is like my nose, I realized in that moment she saw me. She saw herself in me and I saw myself in her," Yates said. "It's crazy. It sounds insane. They couldn't talk yet. They were babies and I was like, yeah, this is it. These are my kids."

On Valentine's Day 2019, Yates took a leap of faith and opened her own firm. At the time, she was single, her girls were two years old, and she was doubting if it was the best time to make such a life-altering decision. When she looks back, however, she said it was the best decision she could have made.

"It was the best choice because now they don't remember me not being available when they were smaller," Yates said. "There were plenty of days where I didn't get to tuck them in at night, I wasn't home to read the stories. I was dropping them off at daycare and they were the first kids there and the last ones to leave."

Now, at six years old, Khloe and Jordyn are vibrant and intelligent young girls each with their own interests.

"They're a whole adventure. Khloe is very pensive to be six, very thoughtful. She loves to bake. She loves to sing and she likes to dance," Yates said. "Jordyn wants to be a scientist, so everything she does is an experiment to her and slightly terrifying to her parents. They're super fun and they fiercely love each other."

And how is it possible to balance a new firm and twins?

"Delegate," Yates said. "Pick the stuff that is the most important for you to do and you do that. If it doesn't matter if you do it or not, let somebody else do it. It takes a village to raise a child and I say it takes a nation state to raise twins. I have a nation state."

Yates said often times moms will choose to tackle on a million things at one, but prioritizing responsibilities and delegating the less important tasks will help you keep your sanity.

"I would far rather be reading to them, playing with them, taking them somewhere, or teaching them something, Yates said. "The truth is that's way more important than anything I'll ever do in a courtroom. I take what I do in the courtroom very seriously, because if I do it wrong, I ruin somebody's life. So if that is the magnitude by which I manage my professional life, how dare I give my kids less than that?"

Yates noted that to her, being a parent is a privilege.

"Everybody doesn't get to be a parent. Everybody doesn't get to keep their kids through childhood. We live in a community where lots of parents have had their kids snatched from them, from violence and all kinds of other stuff," Yates said. "You only get to do it one time, so read the story, make the pancakes, color the thing that your kid has asked you to color 14 times."