Class Warfare Requires an Upper Class

How will we be able to tax the rich if there aren't any left?


Joe the Plumber warned us all that Barack Obama would like to wage socialist class warfare on hard-working wealthy Americans as soon as he was elected president, and here we are, barely a month into the Anarch-Obama Reign of Fiscal Recklessness and he wants to make rich people foot the bill for his massive, bloated budget.

Pretty much the entire budget next year will be devoted to researching the sexual habits of field mice and studying harmless volcanic eruptions. Some small amount of money will be left over for healthcare reform and for feeding and grooming the Obama family's very fancy Portuguese Water Dog.

Where will the funding from Obama's $3.5 trillion budget come from? Why, from rich people, of course.

You've heard of this endangered variety of human called "the rich person," yes? Once they freely roamed the nation in their Net Jets, shuttling back and forth between habitats in Miami, New York, and Los Angeles. But, alas, these rich people's watering holes, known as "banks," have begun drying up and vast herds of the wealthy perish every day from lack of sustenance.

This is actually a good thing, as far as class warfare is concerned, because poor people basically have no rich people left to resent. Those few who still wander the earth will probably be in jail for fraud or tax evasion by the end of the year, or else they'll just be starving and unemployed like the rest of us.

Either way, this spells doom for the budget if there aren't any rich people's backs left to balance it on. But who wanted to spend all that money on volcanoes anyway?

Amateur economist and full-time scrapbooker Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.

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