Monday Watch List: Tell Me About Your Mother's Television

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you pack up your office and prepare to leave the House of Representatives. LET’S GO!

IN TREATMENT – 9:00PM (HBO) HBO’s shrink telenovela returns for its third season. I would totally watch this show if I wasn’t too cheap to spring for premium cable. I remember always being captivated by the shrink scenes on “The Sopranos,” much more so than the dream sequences. I watch any shrink scene on TV assuming the doctor and patient will get it on somewhere in the middle of the session. This season, Debra Winger joins the cast as one of Gabriel Byrne’s patients. But you’ll have to wait for her. Tonight’s new patient is a widow from Calcutta who has recently moved to New York and is dealing with relocation anxiety. I imagine New York, compared to Calcutta, is far too open and spacious for her tastes. Be on the lookout for Amy Ryan later this week. She’s Byrne’s new therapist. Again, I assume they’re gonna get it on. ANTICIPATION: OEDIPUSY!

CHUCK – 8:00PM (NBC) Linda Hamilton returns as Chuck’s mom tonight. But that’s only the beginning of the guest star parade. Also waltzing in are Robert Englund and Morgan Fairchild. At this point, they should really rename the show “Chuck & Grace.” Speaking of which… I can’t wait for a Debra Messing cameo two months from now. FINGERS CROSSED! ANTICIPATION: GUESTY!

WEEDS – 10:00PM (Showtime) More guest stars! Richard Dreyfuss stops by the Botwin household tonight. You’re gonna need a bigger joint. ANTICIPATION: MR. HOLLAND’S BONG!

VHI NEWS PRESENTS: CELEBRITY CHEATERS – 9:00PM (VH1) So many questions. VH1 has a news department? This counts as news? This merits a special presentation? Is Michael Ian Black now a “field correspondent”? I’m baffled in so many ways. ANTICIPATION: DOGGIN’!

HALLOWEEN – 8:00PM (AMC) Yes, Halloween week is upon us. Spooooooooky! Start tonight with the classic slasher movie. It’s worth spending six minutes learning the theme song to this movie on the piano, so that you can walk into any bar or classroom and immediately scare everyone to death by playing it. I saw this movie when I was three. My mom thought it would be cute if we all watched it together as a family. Way to go, mom. Now you know why I visit Gabriel Byrne six times a week. ANTICIPATION: STABBY!

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