Monday Watch List: The GOP Gets All Hot And Bothered!

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and prank call LeBron James. LET’S GO!

NEW HAMPSHIRE GOP PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE – 8:00PM (CNN) After staging a GOP debate that no one seemed to actually participate in, this is your first major GOP debate of the 2012 campaign to feature current frontrunner and world’s finest boat salesman Mitt Romney. You also get Tea Party hostess Michele Bachmann, who will more than make up for the absence of Sarah Palin. Plus you get the usual suspects in Newt (Newwwwttttt!), Ron Paul, Ricky Santorum, and Herman Cain. If you’re hoping for jazzier names to pop up in later debates, I think the only one you’re likely to get is Jon Huntsman. Otherwise, THIS is probably going to be the beginning and end of your choices against President Obama in 2012. So savor the flavor gang. These talking points won’t feel so fresh 17 months from now. ANTICIPATION: POLITICAL!

THE BACHELORETTE – 8:00PM (ABC) Ashley and the guys visit Phuket, Thailand, where they drop in on orphans who lost their families in the tsunami. And imagine the look of bewilderment on those poor kids’ faces when someone tells them that they’re about to be visited by a dozen brainless idiots from an American reality show they’ve never heard of. Then, Ashley and the boys all go shopping. Because that puts everything in perspective. ANTICIPATION: ODDLY HILARIOUS!

NORA ROBERTS’ CARNAL INNOCENCE – 8:00PM (Lifetime) No, it’s not a porn film, or even a bad Mike Figgis movie. It’s a Lifetime movie starring Gabrielle Anwar as a woman who’s dating a man who… you guessed it… MAY NOT BE WHAT HE SEEMS. You’d think Lifetime movie heroines would realize this by now. You’d think they finally catch onto the pattern, but no! ANTICIPATION: WOMAN IN DANGER!

STANLEY CUP FINALS, GAME 6 – 8:00PM (NBC) Do-or-die for the Boston Bruins tonight as they face elimination against the Vancouver Canucks, who are trying to win Canada its first Stanley Cup since 1993. 1993! Yikes. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY – 9:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Reunion episode. Part 1. Stay tuned for Part 46 sometime next year. ANTICIPATION: BITCHY!

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