Rush Limbaugh Is Very Sexy

Critiquing his appearance is politics at its dirtiest

Some terrible alt-weekly rag just published a very mean-spirited list of the least sexy men of 2009, even though the year has barely begun. Not surprisingly, the editors selected Rush Limbaugh, which just goes to show you what poor taste liberals have in men.

But to back up a moment, how classically hypocritical is it for these left-wing nuts to decry how women are always objectified by the media while proudly holding a contest that objectifies men? The answer is very. Very classically hypocritical for all those unattractive man-hating trolls. If they really wanted to be progressive, they would have a contest about who had the Most Sexy Ideas, and Rush Limbaugh would again top the list.

Anyhow, back to the real world, in which a bunch of whining hippies decided it would be cool to point out that Rush Limbaugh has struggled with weight issues. Not everybody lives on wheat grass pancakes, you know! And while many "nutroots" bloggers mocked Mr. Limbaugh for wearing a black-on-black ensemble to the Conservative Political Action Conference, many normal red-blooded American women were completely turned on by his chic and slimming ensemble. (Not that there's anything so great about slimming!)

It just boggles the mind that so many of the same people who got offended any time you mentioned "Hillary Clinton" and "pantsuit" in the same sentence last year are now happily making vulgar critiques of Rush Limbaugh's appearance. He is sexy on the inside, and the outside, even though one hates to mention it for fear of stoking the American obsession with "sex" in any form. In that sense, calling him the unsexiest man of 2009 might actually be a compliment. Limbaugh transcends sex and sexiness. He alone sits atop the fetid waste-heap of humanity, smiling serenely and rubbing his big, beautiful belly as he contemplates the fate of our nation.

Sara K. Smith was recently voted least sexy NBC writer by an informal poll of commenters who find her an idiot, a typical liberal Dem, and a cheap Ann Coulter knockoff. She pens her ignorant screeds for NBC and Wonkette.

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