Congratulations, Miami, on your selection of three new, tall, athletic people.

Are they temporary? Probably. The Heat need cap space more than they need to develop a handful of second-rounders. But that doesn't mean three of Miami's new draft picks aren't worth knowing, at least until they go the way of the fourth and get traded away.

So, here they are, likely coming to a European league not near you. And here's what to expect from your new product:

Pick 32: Dexter Pittman, Center, Texas
Facts: nicknamed "Sexy Dexy," majored in kinesiology
Stat line: Averaged 10.4 points and 5.9 rebounds on 65% shooting
Why: Joel Anthony may not be back and Jermaine O'Neal is a free agent

Let's get this out of the way: despite losing almost 100 pounds in school, at 6'11" and over 300 remaining, Dexter Pittman is overweight. Considering Pat Riley gave Antoine Walker hell for being out of shape, and Pittman generally holds up for only 19 minutes a game, here's guessing Sexy Dexy was chosen so he could run Riley's errands. According to an interview with Sports Illustrated, he wouldn't mind: 

Oh my god. If I could live in Wal-Mart, I'd live there. Do you know that movie Where The Heart Is? It's the one where the lady has a baby in Wal-Mart, and stays in Wal-Mart. That's one of my favorite movies because of that scene.

Wal-Mart is a great store. If I get rich, I want to buy one, because it has everything. You don't have to go anywhere else...

I had an addiction where I was going to Wal-Mart every day to buy something, but I calmed down. I haven't been there in two weeks -- that's why I don't have any food in my fridge....I want to go there right now, now that we're talking about it...

It's a superstore, and that's another reason I like Wal-Mart: It's so big, I feel small there.

We're Target people, but can we keep him? Pretty please? 

Pick 41: Jarvis Varnado, Forward, Mississippi State
Facts: nicknamed "Swat," has wingspan of pterodactyl
Stat line: all-time leading shot-blocker in Division I
Why: he's the only three-time SEC Defensive Player of the Year, and defense is nice

Jarvis Varnado is the only player in Division I history to post more than 1,000 points, 1,000 rebounds and 500 blocked shots, but he's also college basketball's best walk-on of the last...it's been a long time, alright? 

When Mississippi State signed one more player than allowed, Varnado didn't want to see a current or potential teammate sent packing. So he did what no one would do, and took out a loan for his senior year to return as a walk-on so that no one else lost a scholarship. We can conclude he probably doesn't watch SpongeBob.

Pick 42: Da'Sean Butler, Forward, West Virginia
Facts: has only one working knee, likes James Patterson novels
Stat line: all-time leading shot-blocker in Division I
Why: chance to get grubby hands on injury comeback film rights

Da'Sean Butler was famous for basketball until he went down with an ACL tear during West Virginia's Final Four loss to Duke in April. Then he became That Guy In That Weird Moment With His Coach, which was either touching if you're the cat calendar lady in your office, or bizarre and entirely awkward if you're anyone else.

We, however, prefer to think of him as the man who smashed our assumptions of college athletes when he spent his time preparing for an NCAA tournament game not by passing his homework to an athletic department flunkie and going March Madness on a groupie, but by gathering with his bros to lipsync to Brian McKnight in a team hotel room.

He's a lover, Miami. And he won't be recovered from that ACL tear until February, so don't get too attached to those abs.