And so it begins! The Dolphins have jumped into the offseason fray like...actual dolphins. Just days after their last game, the franchise has signed two Canadian Football League players from the British Columbia Lions: fullback Rolly Lumbala and wide receiver/returner Ryan Grice-Mullen.

First, we note that Grice-Mullen does what Ted Ginn does, and though he probably does it even less well, that's interesting.

Secondly, it begs the question: are the Dolphins evaluating talent here, or angling to win a team version of the annual Name of the Year March Madness Bracket since they can't have the AFC East? That Bill Parcells is competitive enough to race everyone in a game they don't even know they're playing.

And he's doing pretty well: the delightful mouthful "Rolly Lumbala" is an unstoppable adjective and three rollicking thumps, making it the most fantastic and appropriate fullback moniker ever -- at least until someone births Smashy McRunhelper. Add him to position-mate Lousaka Polite, and the Dolphins have the Ronnie-Ricky of the hard-to-spell set.

For his part, Ryan Grice-Mullin's no slouch either. He joins Channing Crowder, James Chadwick Pennington, and Kendall Langford in the preppy "Could Also Be a Butler" category, and tacks a point onto the degree of hyphenated difficultly previously held down by Ikaika Alama-Francis alone.

Already on board: Yeremiah, Gibril, Berger, Murtha, Orion, Smiley, Sheets, Henne, Haynos, Nalbone and Moses. The title's practically ours!

We're joking about this, of course, but only because the Dolphins previously released Jay Feely and SirVincent Rogers. If they go out and sign Atari Bigby, Madison Hedgecock, John David Booty, or Craphonso Thorpe, we'll know what's really up.