Dolphins Looking to Double Down at Draft

We may have to wait another day for fresh meat, if the Dolphins get their way

It’s been a pretty crazy offseason for the Dolphins, who shed some previous mistakes, spent a trazillion dollars on two guys, and set themselves up for the most awkward ring of honor ceremony ever.

And if things go well, it’ll get a little crazy at the draft Thursday night, too, when the Dolphins will likely attempt to trade away their first-round no. 12 pick. Sources say they've called at least two other teams already looking to wheel and deal.

But, you say, doesn’t Bill Parcells want his Preciouses? Yes. As many as he can get, because he ate a few already. And that’s the crux: we know how this regime feels about building through the draft -- despite what they’ve actually done – and the Dolphins aren’t exactly stocked with well-placed picks where the draft’s best talent is.

They gave their second-round pick away for Brandon Marshall, and six of their nine remaining come in the sixth or seventh round. If they can’t make a trade, essentially the Dolphins will get one glamour pick, one mid-round pick, and eight John Nalbones.

If that happens, well, let’s just say you’ll want to find your old early-80’s riot gear in the attic and dust that stuff off. It’s clear the Dolphins still have a lot of holes to fill, and this draft is the most crucial this regime has conducted yet (Jets...reloading...everyone...reloading).

So what do they need? Well, pass rushers, for one, with the departures of Joey Porter and Jason (sob) Taylor. Free agent safeties, if trying to sign two of them is any indication. And a nose tackle would be nice, because Jason Ferguson is old and ‘roidy. Also, Jennifer Lopez was fed Dan Williams' name for a TV appearance wants one.

Then there’s the less pressing matter of a speedster on offense now that Ted Ginn is gone, and…well, everything, really.

The trick for the Dolphins will be finding a trading partner, because they aren’t the only ones who realize all the talent in the middle. If they can’t, keep an eye on TCU outside linebacker Jerry Hughes and Texas safety Earl Thomas at no. 12. Which probably means it’ll be Georgia’ Tech’s Derrick Morgan, because you can't put a finger on that wacky Parcells.

But one thing’s for sure: whatever happens tonight, they won’t be drafting anyone’s whole family, so we’re already moving a step in the right direction.

Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.

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