The NFL's favorite husband-and-wife team, Kurt and Brenda Warner, have teamed up to write a new book. It's called "First Things First: The Rules of Being a Warner." The first rule seems to be that Kurt plays the role of henpecked sitcom dad.
Kurt spends his days as a NFL quarterback, a pretty cool job by anyone's estimation, and then spends plenty of his off-hours doing charity work in a good-hearted attempt to make the world a better place. Sure, the whole buying dinner for a random family at a restaurant thing is a bit creepy and presumptous but, as fathers go, the good would seem to outweigh the bad when it comes to Papa Warner.
As the book unfolds, it becomes clear the the QB struggles at home: Warner had to offer one of his sons a quarter for every completed pass so that he'd agree to a game of catch in the backyard. He can't even get them to agree to come to watch him play in the Super Bowl. Two skipped the game in February, and there was a good bit of tooth pulling involved to get the other five to show up for the game. What's watching your dad play in a Super Bowl next to a Nintendo DS?
Even the fruits of his labor are treated with a certain apathy. The back cover of the book entices you to look inside with this story of Warner's Super Bowl ring.
The last time Kurt saw his Super Bowl ring was when the cleaning lady pulled it out from under the living room couch along with a stack of Legos, a handful of Cheerios, and a half-used stick of Brenda’s deodorant.
It's a safe guess that that's not how things roll at the Tom Brady household.